Monday Musings.
Yesterday in church I had the oddest feeling. When I stood and started singing the first song I felt like I was saying 'well hello God' like I hadn't seen Him in a week. I worked almost 60 hours on the project last week and, as I said previously, I was so grateful to God for providing money at a time I was getting pretty nervous. But I realized yesterday how easily I'd fallen back into my old routines. Monday through Friday, wake up way to early, race to work and get some coffee down the pipes, then work like mad all day and watch a little tv before bed.
Granted, when I used to work there I had more free time and did things like Bible Study or hiking or what have you, but my life was very routine and fairly comfortable. I didn't worry about whether I was going to have to ask my parents for money. I didn't have unexpected things happening all the time. I certainly didn't strike up conversations with nearly every perfect stranger I came across. I pretty much knew what to expect when I woke up in the morning.
Granted, when I used to work there I had more free time and did things like Bible Study or hiking or what have you, but my life was very routine and fairly comfortable. I didn't worry about whether I was going to have to ask my parents for money. I didn't have unexpected things happening all the time. I certainly didn't strike up conversations with nearly every perfect stranger I came across. I pretty much knew what to expect when I woke up in the morning.
And, of course, all those are generalizations from a 'good old days' mentality -- that period of my life had worry and pain and confusion of a different sort mixed in with the happiness. But my point is that, for the most part, my life was routine and I didn't 'need' God for daily living. I needed Him on the big stuff, but not so frequently and not for something so mundane as how am I going to fill the gas tank this week?
I had a feeling months ago -- this weird idea that I needed to get in a motorhome, paint it up with advertising, and strike out on a journey. I didn't so much know where I'd be going. I didn't so much know what I'd be doing. In fact, I couldn't explain it very well to myself, let alone friends or family.
It doesn't make a lot of sense, this vague notion of tooling around trying to promote a book that I'm beginning to wonder if people even enjoy reading. I know some say they couldn't put it down. I get lots of 'this could really happen.' But let's be honest, for the most part people don't read Christian fiction for reality. Take a look at any Christian bookstore and the shelves are overwhelmingly filled with historical romance novels and stories where the lead character doesn't face much more than a little bump of a trial. Or worse, something truly tragic happens and the Christian character questions God for about three pages before having a revelation and trusting Him even more fully.
Christian chick-lit is tres chic and I'm seeing more and more books featuring spunky, single career gals who have it all together but can't seem to find a man at their local singles group. However, only a few hundred pages <and a few new shoes> later they've discovered the love of their life -- often the nerdy computer programmer they've been ignoring for years. I am not knocking chick-lit -- I enjoy that genre myself and it's really nice to have light reading where I don't have to worry about profanity or people falling in and out of bed. I'm thrilled that Christian publishing is booming.
I believe in fiction. I believe it can move people in a way that non-fiction never can -- that if you wrap truth in a story you're following the model of the Savior. I once dated a guy who said, when asked about whether he read fiction, that he 'preferred truth.' I was four years into my five year writing project, but it may have only been coincidence that the relationship didn't last too much longer. ;)
Apart from any personal concerns, I believed then <and even more strongly now> that his point was fundamentally flawed. I prefer truth misses the medium behind a majority of Christ's words. How much of Scripture is devoted to parables? And isn't a parable basically a short fiction story created to illustrate a specific point? You can tell someone a moral truth or you can illustrate that truth in a story that involves their emotions, makes them laugh or cry or think deep thoughts...in short, engages their whole being. I have to believe that Jesus chose this way of teaching so often because it was among the most effective methods for getting His point across.
I've never known what point God wanted to get across with my book. I feel like the idea, the motivation, the perseverance all came from Him. I prayed often during the writing and editing phase and I pray all the time now in this horrible marketing phase that God will use it, and me, as He wills. I pray that way because I have this sort of expectation, this feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know what it is, but I've had it ever since I left on this trip -- and I have to be honest, it's hard to have a feeling like that and keep plodding along wondering if it's of God or whether it's just vanity masquerading as faithfulness. How do we ever truly know that we're on the right path?
This Monday Musings has gone on long enough so I'll close by saying I have great hopes for the next month. I'll be again walking where my Lord walked, then visiting three countries that are new to me. I'm going to try to forget about the marketing efforts I'll need to make when I return and just enjoy the moment and the gift that God has given me by allowing me to go on this trip.
What a God of compassion we serve Who loves us in our weakness and our doubt; Who goes before us and walks beside us and never lets us stand alone.
I had a feeling months ago -- this weird idea that I needed to get in a motorhome, paint it up with advertising, and strike out on a journey. I didn't so much know where I'd be going. I didn't so much know what I'd be doing. In fact, I couldn't explain it very well to myself, let alone friends or family.
It doesn't make a lot of sense, this vague notion of tooling around trying to promote a book that I'm beginning to wonder if people even enjoy reading. I know some say they couldn't put it down. I get lots of 'this could really happen.' But let's be honest, for the most part people don't read Christian fiction for reality. Take a look at any Christian bookstore and the shelves are overwhelmingly filled with historical romance novels and stories where the lead character doesn't face much more than a little bump of a trial. Or worse, something truly tragic happens and the Christian character questions God for about three pages before having a revelation and trusting Him even more fully.
Christian chick-lit is tres chic and I'm seeing more and more books featuring spunky, single career gals who have it all together but can't seem to find a man at their local singles group. However, only a few hundred pages <and a few new shoes> later they've discovered the love of their life -- often the nerdy computer programmer they've been ignoring for years. I am not knocking chick-lit -- I enjoy that genre myself and it's really nice to have light reading where I don't have to worry about profanity or people falling in and out of bed. I'm thrilled that Christian publishing is booming.
I believe in fiction. I believe it can move people in a way that non-fiction never can -- that if you wrap truth in a story you're following the model of the Savior. I once dated a guy who said, when asked about whether he read fiction, that he 'preferred truth.' I was four years into my five year writing project, but it may have only been coincidence that the relationship didn't last too much longer. ;)
Apart from any personal concerns, I believed then <and even more strongly now> that his point was fundamentally flawed. I prefer truth misses the medium behind a majority of Christ's words. How much of Scripture is devoted to parables? And isn't a parable basically a short fiction story created to illustrate a specific point? You can tell someone a moral truth or you can illustrate that truth in a story that involves their emotions, makes them laugh or cry or think deep thoughts...in short, engages their whole being. I have to believe that Jesus chose this way of teaching so often because it was among the most effective methods for getting His point across.
I've never known what point God wanted to get across with my book. I feel like the idea, the motivation, the perseverance all came from Him. I prayed often during the writing and editing phase and I pray all the time now in this horrible marketing phase that God will use it, and me, as He wills. I pray that way because I have this sort of expectation, this feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know what it is, but I've had it ever since I left on this trip -- and I have to be honest, it's hard to have a feeling like that and keep plodding along wondering if it's of God or whether it's just vanity masquerading as faithfulness. How do we ever truly know that we're on the right path?
This Monday Musings has gone on long enough so I'll close by saying I have great hopes for the next month. I'll be again walking where my Lord walked, then visiting three countries that are new to me. I'm going to try to forget about the marketing efforts I'll need to make when I return and just enjoy the moment and the gift that God has given me by allowing me to go on this trip.
What a God of compassion we serve Who loves us in our weakness and our doubt; Who goes before us and walks beside us and never lets us stand alone.
