The body of forty-two year old South Korean Bae Hyung-kyu was discovered Wednesday, his soul already gone ahead to glory.
I don't even know what to write beyond that sentence -- I've been sitting here for ten minutes, typing and erasing, not sure what to say. This morning my best friend and I had a chance to spend some time in prayer and I was prompted to pray for my brothers and sisters in closed countries. I prayed for those South Korean hostages, not yet having read the news that one had already been killed. Actually, I prayed that, if it was within God's will, He would protect them. Tonight I read that He already allowed the death of at least one.
I also prayed that God would please, please protect the 18 women from their captors. My mind shut down at the thought of what those evil, violent men might do, my memory flooded with the faces of the young South Korean women I taught English to ten years ago. Young, innocent faces filled with a fervor to share the love of Christ -- the same looks I saw when viewing the team photo of the hostages that was released by their church.
Is God good? To me, that is the one, single, defining question in life. For years I struggled with it, for years I raged against God for all the injustice and tragedy I saw in the world, the injustice and tragedy in my own life. I could recite the theological response in a soundbite: that evil is a result of the Fall and continuing sinful choices of mankind; that God is sovereign but allows each one of us freewill while providing His very own Son to reconcile us to Him.
Though correct, those are cold answers when faced with a young woman who took off work, raised money, got on a plane and flew into a warzone to give medical aid and comfort to the sick and dying. When faced with the knowledge that a woman is out there somewhere, quite likely beaten and violated and God knows what else...and the only reason she's in the situation is because she loved Jesus and wanted to share that love with others.
Is God good? I know the answer to that, but it's an answer that came after bitter personal struggle. I know with firm conviction that God is good, though evil abounds in every corner of the globe. I know that God is good, though His ways are mystifying and He rarely explains Himself. And I know that God is good, though He would allow the death of innocents so that even one lost sheep would come home.
History is scattered with examples that "the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church." If we believe God truly is sovereign, loving and just; if we understand that this life really is nothing but a mist in light of an eternity with or without Him...only then can we begin to catch the slightest glimpse of the lengths God is willing to go to that none should perish.
I have no idea if I would hold firm to my convictions under the circumstances now facing my brothers and sisters in Afghanistan. I pray I'd be able to stand as Job, "though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him." I do know that I serve the God of all comfort, a God capable of being present among prisoners and giving peace that passes all understanding in the midst of horrific conditions. Those are the things I'll ask for my brothers and sisters when I speak to God tonight.